Dana Carvey’s Church Lady Returns to Judge David Spade’s Hunter Biden, Roast Matt Gaetz
Enid Strict, better known as The Church Lady, practically had to return to Saturday Night Live in the December 7 episode. After all, 2024 was, in her appraisal, “the most satanic year in history.”
The cold open marked the first time Dana Carvey has reprised the role of Enid since 2016, though the SNL alum has been a regular presence in Season 50, serving as the NBC show’s President Joe Biden.
“Instead of Mother Mary, little girls are looking up to the Hawk Tuah Girl,” Enid began. “Everywhere you look, you’ve got 11-year-olds dressing up like that vixen Sabrina Carpenter. Do you know who was the best carpenter? Jesus. [Singing to the tune of ‘Espresso’] He’s working late ’cause he’s a savior.” Enid then took aim at multiple political figures who were brought on as guests.
As she kicked off her “Church Chat” talk show on Saturday, Enid welcomed former U.S. Representative Matt Gaetz, played by Sarah Sherman, as her first guest.
“Are you OK? Matt, you look a little surprised to be here,” Enid said, referring to Gaetz’s recent, um, facial transformation. “It looks like your forehead’s trying to go to heaven without you.”
Then Enid brought up the scandal that undid Gaetz’s shot at the U.S. attorney general job. “Now, Matt, let’s see if I have this straight,” she said. “You were involved in some little sexual peccadilloes, and they wrote a whole report about it. But somehow we never got to see it, did we? Isn’t that convenient? … Poor little Matt Gaetz. You better repent, Matt. There’s only 17 days left in Christmas.”
Sherman’s Gaetz replied, “You had me at 17.”
Then Enid moved right along to a guest “who actually is a lot like Jesus — because he also has a dad named Joseph, whose life is made way more complicated because of him.” Enter SNL alum David Spade, playing Hunter Biden, Joe’s son and recent presidential pardon subject.
“I thought it was a good thing for the father to forgive the son — right, Church Lady?” Spade’s Hunter said. “Last time I checked, Jesus wasn’t walking around in a robe with no underwear, hanging out with prostitutes,” Enid replied. “Uh, I think he was,” Spade’s Hunter pointed out. He added: “I’ve gone through a lot, but my dad loves me unconditionally. And that’s the greatest gift of all. Also, to anyone who’s seen any of those laptop photos, just remember, the camera takes off two inches.”
Enid’s final guest on Saturday’s “Church Chat” was Juan Soto, the free-agent baseball player reportedly getting nine-digit offers from MLB franchises.
“So I hear they’re going to pay you $700 million to smack some balls around with your big stick. We like to hit a baseball, don’t we? And make more money than Jesus. You know, money is the root of all evil.”
Marcello Hernández, playing Soto, replied, “Well, if that’s true, then I’m going to become the most evil baseball player in the world.”
After the athlete discussed the prospect of playing for the New York Yankees next season, Enid chided him for not spending his time and money helping the needy and the less fortunate.
“You’re right,” Hernández’s Soto replied. “Maybe I sign with the Mets.”
And for the cold open’s grand finale, Enid and her guests sang a song recapping 2024: “Satan had a good year / With Hawk Tu-ey and P. Diddy / Satan is a real kind of giddy / Satan had a good year / Will Christmas be about Jesus? / Nobody knows / Or will it be about Santa / Hanging with the ho-ho-hos? / Satan had a good year.”
Saturday Night Live, Saturdays, 11:30/10:30c, NBC
