‘Law & Order’ Actor Jack Merrill Says He Was Abducted & Sexually Abused by Serial Killer John Wayne Gacy

[Warning: This article contains descriptions of sexual abuse.]

Law and Order actor Jack Merrill has opened up about a horrifying encounter with serial killer John Wayne Gacy, who he reveals abducted and sexually abused him when he was 19 years old.

Merrill, who has appeared in hit shows such as Sex and the City, Grey’s Anatomy, and The O.C., wrote about the incident in a piece for People magazine on Wednesday, October 23. In the article, Merrill says he met Gacy in 1978 while walking home at night in Chicago.

“A guy pulled over and said, ‘Do you want to go for a ride?’” Merrill recalled. After getting into the vehicle, the actor said, “He pulled over near the ramp of the Kennedy Expressway and asked if I’d ever done ‘poppers’—amyl nitrite. He pulled out this brown bottle, splashed some liquid on a rag and jammed it into my face.”

“I passed out, and when I woke up, I was in handcuffs. I saw the exit for Cumberland on the expressway, near the airport, and the next thing I knew, we were outside his house,” Merrill continued.

After waking up in a “dark” house, Merrill recalled, “I was a puny 19-year-old. I knew I couldn’t anger him. I just had to diffuse the situation and act like everything was okay. That’s the way I had survived as a kid—we learned to lie low during my parents’ rages.”

Eventually, Merrill says Gacy “dragged” him down the hall and “put this homemade contraption around my neck.” He added, “It had ropes and pulleys, and it went around my back and through my handcuffed hands in a way that if I struggled, I would choke. I did at one point and started to lose air. He stuck a gun in my mouth. Then he raped me in the bedroom.”

“I knew if I fought him, I didn’t have much of a chance. I never freaked out or yelled,” Merrill explained. “I also felt sorry for him in a way, like he didn’t necessarily want to be doing what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop.”

Finally, Merrill sensed Gacy “was tiring” and “All of a sudden he said, ‘I’ll take you home.’” Gacy then drove Merrill back to near where he’d found him at around 5 in the morning.

“He gave me his phone number and said, ‘Maybe we’ll get together again sometime.’ When I got home, I flushed the number down the toilet, then took a shower,” he said. “I didn’t call the police—I didn’t know he was a killer at the time.”

Months later, Merrill said he saw the headline, “Bodies Found at Suburban Site,” and knew it was the same man who sexually assaulted him. Despite the terrifying ordeal, Merrill said he learned to “forgive” Gacy and found comfort in acting.

“Acting was therapeutic for me,” Merrill stated. “You’re forced to express yourself, and there is some honesty that goes with that. Recognition and acceptance.”

Gacy was arrested in 1978 and, in 1980, was found guilty of 33 counts of murder and sentenced to death. He was executed in 1994.

If you or someone you know is the victim of sexual assault, contact the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network‘s National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.