The Best, Worst, Cringiest, and Campiest of Elsbeth Tascioni
She may be a hot-shot lawyer turned investigator, but even Elsbeth Tascioni is prone to an off day or two.
The NYC transplant has proven that she is a whiz when it comes to cracking cases.
And while she always gets her man, that doesn’t mean there weren’t speed bumps.
It’s not surprising since Elsbeth seems always to be carrying two arms worth of tote bags.
Seriously, what could she possibly have in those things?!
With the second season of the hit CBS spinoff right around the corner, it’s time we revisited the best, worst, cringiest, and campiest of Elsbeth Tascioni.
And we’re not just talking about her questionable wardrobe.
The Worst — Elsbeth’s Investigation Into Captain Wagner
While Elsbeth may have a knack for turning over every stone in her investigations, she dropped the ball when it came to the captain.
She was sent to The Big Apple by Agent Fred Celetano to uncover the truth about Wagner. Except she was dragging her feet the whole time.
She only actively investigated the captain during the first couple of episodes.
As the series progressed, Elsbeth became more hesitant to keep an eye on her new boss.
On top of that, she couldn’t even keep things a secret from Kaya and put the officer in the middle of her new friend and the boss she has always looked up to.
In that regard, she dropped the ball during the investigation. Not to mention, she wasn‘t even responsible for catching Lieutenant Dave Noonan.
It was Captain Wagner (Wendell Pierce) who caught the crooked cop red-handed. If he hadn’t discovered Elsbeth was looking into him, he would’ve never realized someone in the NYPD was corrupt.
By the end, Elsbeth failed miserably at her New York City assignment. She almost lost her job because of it, too.
But as we saw in the Elsbeth Season 1 finale, Captain Wagner is a big softy under that gruff exterior, and he brought the attorney on in a permanent capacity.
So, she must be doing something right.
The Best — Elsbeth Set Her Sights On A Sadistic Surgeon And Caught Her Red-Shoed
If there is one thing we learned from Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 6, “An Ear for an Ear,” it is that you should never wear custom, one-of-a-kind shoes while committing murder.
A lot of the killers on Elsbeth fumble around with their murder, trying to cover their tracks.
Most are so terrible that they practically lead the police to the evidence. You can almost see the countdown till they are caught.
Not Gina Gershon’s Dr. Vanessa Holmes, though! This plastic surgeon had a plan and stuck to it.
She was meticulous with the details to the point that she got very close to getting away with murder.
If it hadn’t been for Dr. Holmes’ chatty wife, Carolyn, Elsbeth might not have cracked the case.
Not only did Carolyn fill in the blanks for Vanessa’s motive, but she also led Elsbeth to the clue that put Vanessa away.
This was a tough case for the attorney because Holmes was so good at covering her tracks and keeping her mouth shut around Elsbeth.
That’s not an easy feat, considering how talkative the police aid is.
The temptation to fill the awkward silence after Elsbeth finishes one of her rants is too strong.
This episode also introduced viewers to Micaela Diamond’s Detective Edwards, quite possibly the funniest character in the show.
Edwards is the only detective who uses logic to shut down Elsbeth.
In that regard, she may have pushed the titular character to perform her best in this case.
Either way, Elsbeth (Carrie Preston) proved in this episode that there’s a solid detective under those floral prints and tote bags.
The Cringiest – Elsbeth Must Be Allergic To Good Fashion Because It Messes With Her Mojo
As Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 10 is the only episode that switched from the “howcatchem” formula to a regular murder mystery, audiences were left as clueless as Elsbeth in this surprising turn of events.
If you recall, a fashion photographer was shot in the middle of a runway show.
At this point, Elsbeth was no longer working with the NYPD.
However, she had built up a good reputation with the detective on the case and was brought on as a consultant.
Sadly, for the detective and Officer Kaya, Elsbeth couldn’t get a clue, even if it had been one of the very vibrant colors splashed across her clothes.
For the entire episode, Elsbeth’s sleuthing skills were non-existent, with evidence flying by her face.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, this is also Elsbeth’s worst-dressed episode.
How in the hell was she the murdering fashion designer’s muse? She had on a fuzzy bucket hat.
And then he created an entire fashion line based on her ensemble! Why couldn’t he have been in Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 7, “Something Blue.” Elsbeth actually wore tolerable clothing in that episode.
That said, in the end, Elsbeth’s wardrobe choices remind viewers not to take the show too seriously.
The Campiest – Elsbeth Met Her Match In A Murdering Matchmaker Named Margo
Funnily enough, Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 4 was the very first episode I watched!
And if you ask me, it was the best for all the right reasons.
The premise alone is phenomenal, but the writers clearly had fun with this episode. It served by far the campiest energy of the entire season.
After hitting a cop for giving her a parking ticket, Margo meets a grifter in jail that she sets up with her high-maintenance client.
So, after a year of courting, the grifter fell in love with Margo’s client, forcing the matchmaker to stop him from telling her client the truth.
And how does she stop him?
By smashing him over the head with a cupid statuette. I mean, come on! That is camp gold!
However, the best part of the episode is a line from Elsbeth, “Lawyers always end up having sex on desks, and you never see the stapler until it’s too late.”
I was gagged! I laughed so hard that I did that thing where you slowly fall to the ground.
It was by far the best bit of dialogue in the whole series!
Elsbeth Tascioni is a character that fans have come to love and adore for her quirky, campy ways.
Whatever CBS has in store for the next season, I will be soaking up every sensational second of this gut-splitting series.
Ten bucks says more than half the means of murder in Season 2 will be blunt force trauma.
Check out our list of potential Elsbeth Season 2 Suspects here!
What was your favorite moment from Elsbeth Season 1?
Who are you hoping will make a guest appearance?
Drop a comment below to let us know, and join us again when we bring you more fun articles about all your favorite new and returning shows!
